i wasn't going to write a new one this year , but... be kind to yourself in the year ahead . remember to forgive yourself , and to forgive others . it's too easy to be outraged these days , so much harder to change things , to reach out , to understand . try to make your time matter ; minutes and hours and days and weeks can blow away like dead leaves , with nothing to show but time you spent not quite ever doing things , or time you spent waiting to begin . meet new people and talk to them . make new things and show them to people who might enjoy them .




love is a funny thing . you expect it to be easy . you expect it to be a world of roses and laughs and perfect moments that you find only in movies . you expect him to always say the right thing and always know exactly how you feel or how to react to it . you expect him to calm you down when you're yelling or to chase you when you run away . you expect so much that you feel entirely and utterly defeated when something doesn't match up with all your plans . but that's the thing , love isn't a plan . it doesn't have a certain beginning and it certainly has no end or a visible finish line to those deeply in it . love happens and it's so incredibly messy .







before you can grow up , you must fall in love three times . once , you must fall in love with your best friend , ruining your friendship forever . this will teach you who your true friends are , and the fine line between friendship and more . once you must fall in love with someone you believe is perfect . you will learn that no one is perfect , and that you should never be treated as anything less than you deserve . and once , you must fall in love with someone that is exactly like you . this will teach you about who you are , and who you want to be . and when you're through with all that , you learn that the people who care about you the most are the ones that needed you the most . but most of all , you learn that love is only a concept and is not something that can be defined , it is different to each and every person on this earth , knowing that everyone only wants to be loved .







once a while in our life , or maybe more than once we all experienced it before . that feeling , of waiting his replies on Whatsapp is tormenting . the moment when you knew he was online and you couldn't talk to him . his "last seen" was too obvious that he wasn't replying you . when does it all happened ? is this again that feeling ? it has been yesterday i thought i was happy living my life , eager wanted to explore the world but there you go , suddenly appear right in front of my eyes . every girl dreams to have a nice boyfriend , but they always say , "there is no rainbow without a little bit of rain" . i don't know whether i am ready to be in another relationship . or maybe i was never been ready before . most of my close friends are in a relationship and they are all too busy to even care about others . i longed to share my thoughts and feelings to some of them but seems like we couldn't connect at all . i guess we all have to go through it all by ourselves . how i wished i am occupied with some routine now as to forget this feeling . as some may called it , "infatuation" .

你愛上的我 by 張智成

One day you screaming you love me loud

The next day you're so cold

One day you here

One day you there 

One day you care

You're so unfair."

i constantly wonder how my life looks in other people's eyes . do they think i have it easy ? do they think i have nothing going on for myself ? or are they fascinated with who i am ? the thing is that no one will ever know my whole story . no one will ever know the things i had to overcome . not even my closest friends , not even my own family . the thing is that people are so quick to judge nowadays . you only see a person from what they want and allow you to see . i always try to look as tough as i can , and i guess that's my way that everyone will assume that everything in my life is okay . that i never go through anything . if only everyone knew how broken i am , and how i'm holding on for dear life on this one last stand that's recently become very delicate . the truth is that no one really knows me . no one will ever know me , and sometimes that scares me , because no one will ever know why i am the way i am .


days passed unknowingly . we are all grown up now . feelings and memories change . the way we think also changes as time passes . unlike the us 10 years ago , when we are just 10 years old passing each day happily without any worries . its so different now . we tend to live each day catching up with our dreams and often neglect those little things . i always wonder why things become so complicated as we grew older . although there is positivity in us , the problem still exist . in reality , the problem doesn't go away and keep bugging us . i wonder why and when it will be solved .








decided to post about my trip this time as i'm kinda bored right now . and my blog is kinda dull , quiet & boring . so , here it goes ! went to penang and genting for one week six nights . although its quite a long duration , this trip didn't cost me much because lodging , food and transportation is taken care of . went to bus terminal early in the morning and started to camwhore .